The vulnerability lies ahead…This blog has been very keen on keeping things to the point. It is time to break this pattern. I want to get to know my readers, and I want my readers to get to know me. I am growing every day, both mentally an physically. I want my readers to know that this blog will show the good days, and it will sometimes show the not-so-good days. This is a writing piece to help those on their bad days. We all have them. It isn’t always peachy. So read along, and bask in the fact that while I am not perfect, I am growing, and this blog will be ever growing with me.
It is vitally important to write on your good days, rather than just on your bad days. I find that when you’re in your worst place you are frequently drawn to writing because it feels as though your darkest hour has your mind begging to be let free. In contradiction to this, when the day has felt a little less bitter, you tend to not feel a need to write. In fact, I’m not sure you think about writing at all. I think that you need to start writing on these good days because they remind you that the dark days are where you’ve been, and the good days are where you’re going. To be honest that idea is awfully optimistic for a pessimist. These ideas will sound like shit come the bad days, but at least you know there are better times coming, whether you want to believe it or not. It is more of a bad few hours. It gets really dark but give it a few hours and what felt like the end of your world becomes a little less murky, and a little clearer. You are the control center for the rest of your life. There will be roadblocks that will try to deter you from your destination, and ideas that will try to swerve your goals, but in the end, the life that you want will only come from you. In our final days, we have to be able to look back at our life and say that we didn’t regret anything, that we lived exactly how we wanted to, and that nothing was a waste of time. We must be proud of who we became, the things we achieved, and the people we surrounded ourselves with. This has to begin and end with you. I always thought it was selfish to live life doing things and believing things that were solely good for me. I’m slowly realizing that if it is selfish to do so, then I don’t want to be thought of any other way. It has been increasingly difficult for me to trust that true, bone-deep, soul-crushing acceptance, happiness, and faith can only come from me and the way I choose to carry myself. Live a little, be fierce, be brave, and never back down. This life you’re leading is yours and only yours, and it is about time that you decide to pick up the ropes and lead yourself in the direction you want to go. Any decision you make must benefit you before anyone else. Any path you take must take you to the destination of your dreams, not the destination that you’re lead to in hopes that you will join the rest of the robots that can’t seem to find their brains. This life is yours, make it wonderful, make it everything you’ve ever wished for. Be afraid, and then rise. Be courageous but be humble. Live without fear that you’re doing something wrong, or unlike those before you. You create your own destiny, right? Make it something you’ll be proud of when the time comes for you to leave this strikingly beautiful yet horrifyingly grotesque world. You’ll be okay. Remember this when the next dark day hits.
Until next time,